Open 24 Hours Open-ish

CamptonHeightsMarket

Est. 1994Cash only. Feelings optional.
Campton Heights Market key art: the clerk yelling across the counter, cigarette in mouth, while a little girl stares up at him and a dog does its business in aisle three

The Story

He's 30. He's been behind the same counter since he could see over it. His family's convenience store is his whole life — and one day, he just stops caring.

Store Policy

Posted by management. Enforced by nobody.

No Shirt, No Shoes

Honestly? Come in. Nothing matters.

Restroom for Customers Only

There is no restroom. There was never a restroom.

We Card Everyone

Under 25? Over 25? He's not looking up.

Please Leash Your Pets

See aisle three. This sign is a memorial.

Customer Reviews

★☆☆☆☆
Asked if they had change for a twenty. He said "who does, really" and walked into the back.
— Regular, unfortunately
★★☆☆☆
The hot dogs have been rotating since the Clinton administration. I respect the commitment.
— Local food critic
★★★★★
Best customer service in Campton Heights. Then again, it's the only store in Campton Heights.
— His mom